i would punch a child for taco bell
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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