tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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