He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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