sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
