I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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