Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
