I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
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Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?