Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun