can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize