"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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