butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
