I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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