I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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