I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
