They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
