you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
