My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it's great music for shaving your balls
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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