she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
