This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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