whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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