is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
