I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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