I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
