dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
