No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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