we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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