Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
