He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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