So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
