I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
