Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
