Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
