dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Non-Jews are for practice
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
