You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
