Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This gyro tastes like lonliness
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
