You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
