sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
