he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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