he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just want to make out with him forever
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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