...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it was like eating out sand paper
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need to sanitize my soul.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
