Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
