someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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