Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
