Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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