Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Two words: blizzard sex
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
