Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
