Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
