god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
