I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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