I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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