How'd it feel making her break her religion?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
