New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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