Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
