they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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