I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
