dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
