I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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