A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think I died a long time ago.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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