Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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