Sry I called you an 8
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
