his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize