Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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