I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
ok first of all what the fuck
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
