both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
