Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
