I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
