It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
