Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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