He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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