Got a toothbrush?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
